Struggle

As you may have noticed, it has been a while since I last posted and even before that, I hadn’t posted often (really since the summer). When Lindsay and I moved to Alabama, I knew it was what God wanted for us. I felt excited to start a new job, be in a new academic program and just have a different set of surroundings (not to mention we got a dog, which is awesome!!). As time passed, my excitement for Alabama passed even quicker. I quickly found myself struggling to find a place here; not only me, but Lindsay and I both felt we didn’t really have a place here. I think the point I am trying to get across is that I am frustrated with being here. I can’t doubt this is where we are supposed to be but why, and if it is where He wants us, why does it feel so hard?

UA3 UA2 UA1

Lindsay and I have yet to find our niche here and really have not found any true friends with whom we connect (with the exception of Chris Holland who has done so much for me personally, professionally and in any other way I can think. He is one bright spot in this deep and what seems a dark south). I bring this up because I a firm believer that the basis of any good faith (really anything in life) starts with a firm foundation and community is a vital part of a firm foundation. Without this, I think we will continue to struggle. Even as good as having each other is, and it is beyond words how wonderful what we have is, we need people here who believe as we do, love us and who we can love, have common interests; ultimately, we need people to walk this path with together.

Now I write this not to ask for sympathy. I am not so oblivious to see that what we have is great and so much more than what many have. After all, we do have a family that love us, food, education, opportunity, love and so many more blessings I should count more often. Even still, being in this new place is hard, harder than I imagined. We don’t want your pity, I really cannot say “thank you” enough to all in our life who have been beyond generous. What I am asking is that you pray for us. We want to find a community, our niche, and have yet to do so. I’ve no doubt we will, but it is hard in the mean time.

I really am reluctant to publish this post as I don’t want to seem ungrateful for all of my blessings. I also know that we are told “For everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks finds, the one who knocks the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:8). I truly believe that God brought us to Alabama for something wonderful and I am choosing to believe that His love has more for us than what we see now.

Through it all, I have his love. I will leave you with this thought by Andrew Solomon, “Love is made more acute when it is exerted.” Right now, we are doing nothing more than exerting our love for Him.

-Selah

 

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